#!/usr/bin/me

My new love(sac)

2010-11-10T10:28:00.002-05:00

The back story: A buddy and I do "mall walks" which is basically when you walk around the mall and bullshit the whole time. Its essentially therapy with a bad therapist.

While waxing poetic over expensive coffee we discovered LoveSac The greatest couch (and more) in the whole world.

Here is the deal:

It's modular, you can buy it in sections so you can build it anyway you like.
You can change the covers.
It has a warranty that may outlast the company.
It warranties the covers.
It warranties the, I shit you not, cushions.

I know your asking HOW!? How do they do it?!

I'll tell you, their products do not suck!

So then you ask "Hey man, there has to be a caveat! So, what is it?!"

That's where I say, "There is a little sticker shock, compare it to the Room Store or Ikea and you will spend more money at LoveSac. You may spend almost twice as much."

So then you say "Dude, we're in a recession, I don't have that cheddar!"

This is where I say "Exactly, spend smart and have some foresight (and don't call money cheddar)"

Let me explain further. I have had furniture from other retailers and I'll tell you a few things.

My experience with the other products is that:

The furniture begins breaking down after a year
The warranties are horrible
You're stuck with what you buy e.g. can't turn your couch into two chairs etc.
The warranties are not included in the initial purchase price and are over priced and highly limited.
You are stuck with the color and cover you bought.
They are typically hard to maintain.

I now have furniture from LoveSac and I'll explain a few more things:

The cushions are high quality and don't break down like furniture I had in the past.
The warranties are excellent.
You can dynamically change your couch/ love seat/ chair combination(s).
You can change the cover from brown to blue to black to
They are easy to take apart and move around.
The frames are sturdy and by sturdy I mean strong and by strong I mean 20 year strong.
The cushions are built with a dense memory foam inside and are warrantied.
You can machine wash the covers.

I'll repeat that

YOU CAN MACHINE WASH THE COVERS. (I've done it just to test. It works. Epic.)

Like the quality of the furniture you get something else with a LoveSac purchase that is amazing, you get the best service ever.

I can imagine the quality of the product makes it easy to sell, but, every time I've been to my local LoveSac store (Columbia, MD) I'll tell you that Heather and her co-horts have given me stellar service.

I am cheap (frugal). I mull over any purchase that is more than 50 bucks. I just replaced all of my living room furniture with LoveSac because it is a smart buy, backed with a great warranty and amazing service.

Things to do in the 2K10

2010-04-20T20:00:00.001-04:00

When a nerd falls in love he makes a list...

1) First Vacation
2) Jack Johnson
3) Orioles game
4) Ravens Game
5) A day at the beach
6) A day in the woods
7) A day in bed (pjs alll dayh)
8) A second vacation - fall or later.
9) Cook dinner together
10) Coin flip day, all decisions.
11) steve - tattoo (maybe)
12) dress up dinner out
13) charity event
14) volunteer event (maybe surfrider?)
15) NYC
16) Cirque du soleil
17) theater/ dance thingy.

From my iPhone.

Friday Senryū (and Haiku) for mommy.

2009-12-11T09:30:00.012-05:00

Change it up...

"it took her
before i knew it
it is tragedy"

"pioneer of strength
powerless over the drink
it swallowed her whole"

... Battling your demons I forgot how special you are, were. I failed at separating it, the demon and the person.

I fought so hard to separate myself while all along surrounding myself with those most like you.

Maybe in the next life we will be friends.

Love,
Your Son

I am responsible for my rose

2009-09-28T09:32:00.009-04:00

A while ago someone special gave me the following excerpt from The Little Prince. I had recently been in a place where I had to go back and read it and then re read it a few times. Every time I had read it I'd tried to understand which role am I in this and think I kinda' missed the point. Take your time to read this, I really think it is worth it:

"It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," said the fox.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

"What does that mean-- 'tame'?"

"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean-- 'tame'?"

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean-- 'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower... I think that she has tamed me..."

"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

"On another planet?"

"Yes."

"Are there hunters on this planet?"

"No."

"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not ea t bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

"Please-- tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me..."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me-- like that-- in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day..."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you... One must observe the proper rites..."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarrassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

“What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember."

I think through life we all play the different roles here. I'm not sure if I would want to be the boy, the fox or the rose; and, in my opinion, if life is lived simply just doing the next right thing than it isn't my decision.

I just have to remember that no matter what happens that "I am responsible for my rose". Novel concept.

#!/usr/bin/me

Haiku Friday, Where have you been?

2009-08-21T11:29:00.001-04:00

fall leaves crackling,
beneath the man's well worn shoes,
welcomed chilled exhale.

searing sand pounding,
delivers poignant message,
use sunscreen dumb ass.

Haiku Friday

2009-05-08T14:08:00.001-04:00

a family of two,
foxes outside my office,
hope the geese run fast

Little Foxes

2009-05-08T13:07:00.012-04:00

Dear Fox outside my window,

Thanks for coming by and sunbathing by my window today. I feel as if I don't see you as often as I'd like.

I was honestly having a bit of a resentment toward you since I'm pretty sure you want to want to eat the geese that come by and visit too. I understand that its a matter of natural selection; however, I would be none to pleased to witness it at work.

Later you got up and began to cute fox like things like scratch your back.

I did not appreciate the mocking faces you made at me.

I am at work you see and do not have the opportunity to sunbathe outside and scratch whenever possible is not an option for me.

Fox, you mock me and I find it unfair.

For your unfair mocking I have decided to name you Sonny Crockett, I find it the only fair and reasonable course of action to take. You are Sonny Crockett. Stop mocking me Sonny, puh puh, I spit in your general direction.

Like all relationships, things change. I did not realize that you were a single mom just trying to raise a lil' fox of your own in these hardcore Silver Spring streets.

Empathy.

I shall remove the moniker of Sonny Crockett, and dub the Estelle Getty our little friend here on the left is naturally Bea Arthur.

Like all Golden Girls, thank you. Thank you for being a friend. Down my window sill and back again. You may be mangy, but you're a pal and a confidant.

However, just a friendly reminder, stay away from the effing geese.

<3,

#!/usr/bin/me

Morning Rant

2009-04-28T08:44:00.004-04:00

I think I'd enjoy taking a long weekend to learn to knit a great sweater of all my defects, character flaws and things that make me awkward.

I'd practically wear it out eating simply living in it.

Let little blemishes accumulate, hope it snags on an errant nail or two; earn its own flaws and defects. We'll call them character marks (and I know they are scars).

The ability to look in the mirror knowing exactly what is bothering me be brilliant.

There is too much activity in my attic; and, I feel the weight of big decisions sitting on my chest like a six ton boulder.

Schlepping along cursing in my head about events, emotion and folks I have no control over.

I really do not like my flaws, defects and things that make me awkward.

But, man, I love being alive.

BAD haiku Friday, "the hmmmm is it getting nice outside?" edition

2009-04-17T08:42:00.003-04:00

gorgeous spring morning,
and a tickle in my throat,
strep, you are my bane.

they came from new york,
assuming an easy win,
n’ left just breathing.

i need outdoor wheels,
four oh four the site is down,
but i want to shop.

cats have their own door,
they sit and giggle at me,
i can’t fit through it.

its eight twenty nine,
one eye open to the world,
where is my coffee?

haiku Friday: The "I rock gangstah' poses in my cube jamming out to MIA" edition.

2009-04-03T16:00:00.004-04:00

mornin’ woke to rain,
my early morning commute,
punctuated drops.

can't find candle ends,
could be here or there or there,
silly, there she is.

draconian laws,
repealed by sweet Iowa,
we need a caucus.

Power Point Oh Day,
Em Ess nine six nine one three six,
invalid object.

Preplanned resentments, defects and self respect.

2009-04-03T00:04:00.005-04:00

There is this saying, "Expectations are preplanned resentments" and I have to agree with 'them'.

'They' say a lot and 'they' are often correct.

Unable to put a finger on whatever the problem really is I'll opt to just type and think it out till I find something to focus on and whittle away at.

I'll go ahead and do that in private thanks.

Let’s do this, we'll shift back up to defcon 4.

Fat Fuck Versus Himself pt IV: Lungs.

2009-03-16T12:12:00.005-04:00

Today I woke up late.

Worse than late, it was to the sound of a laughing roommate. They could have been laughing at anything; but, the state of waking up late, just being all bitter ensures that no matter what they were really laughing at, in my head, I was the subject of laughter.

Dammit.

There was one smoke left in the pack, had I been smart I'd have had it last night before bed, I didn't take it with me. I left it on the bed.

Obviously if I'm typing I'm obsessing over it.

I was trying to figure out when the perfect timing would be to quit smoking and I discovered that there really isn't a good time.

(Here is the part where I beat the drum again)

I know they'll kill me. I know they killed my Dad and will probably kill my brother. They will kill me too.

They make my clothing, breath, car, hair, hands, and kitties (after petting) stinky.

The writing on the wall that I'm in an unhealthy situation usually needs to be written across the wall in blood (or corn syrup) for me to see it in bold Technicolor.

Maybe I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.

Lunch couldn't have come any faster today. I hit Moe's, its $5.00 burrito Monday... Sick!

Walking into, and out of, Moe's I scanned the parking lot like a terminator hot on John Connors's trail scanning every pocket for the tell tale rectangle, every hand for a lighter and even looking for actual cigarettes!

Had I gotten one what would I have actually done?

How do I justify being weak so fast?

Have we not leaned that we can take a monster fucking beating and bounce back better than we were left?

I can romanticize smoking all I want and getting all righteous about how all these damned bastards in Washington are taking away my rights to blah blah blah; however, if the taxes didn't bring the average price to over $7.00 per pack I would not be ‘forced’ into this position.

Govt. 1, Smokers 0

Good.

Today,

Steve 1, Cigarettes 0

A Start.

haiku Friday "Now you do the work"

2009-03-13T12:39:00.001-04:00

not feelin' rhythmic
this fine Friday afternoon,
just gonna sit here.

I am Lazy!

If you're reading this on Facebook feel free to add your own to the notes comments...

If you're reading this on the blog feel free to add your own as a comment...

haiku Friday: "I picked good weather for a three day weekend."

2009-03-06T13:12:00.003-05:00

last box came back clean,
i got my attestation,
new quarter begins.

gonna' sand the roof,
then i will compound again,
gonna' sand the roof.

thinkin' bout new ink,
polar bears to be exact,
white is difficult.

sharpened scenes raised,
to target a single mark,
refuse to look; leap.

too many displays,
information overload,
parse out the garbage.

I have a little issue with the participation, or lack thereof, with 'haiku Friday'. Take a moment, think about what you're doing right now and bust out a little 5-7-5 on that ass... These take me a few min and I am the least creative person I know.

#!/usr/bin/me

Dear Santa contd.

2009-03-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

Dear Santa,

I thought we had a talk a little while ago and to be honest I didn't think you had kept your end of the bargain up; or, so I though. I have learned that patience is a virtue, acceptance is a way of life and somtimes you need to work through your shit first.

I breezed through having to deal with cupid and his silly cherubic reminders of amore ... or lack there of.

I have found myself at times wising I could call the carry out joint and order a nice girl 25 to 32, highly intelligent, artistic, witty etc. etc. No work involved, not putting myself out there, simply a fairy tale.

I'm going to go ahead and move DEFCON from 4 to 2, slowly ease back in and allow myself to be a little vulnerable.

I will have to 'eat my own dog food' and remember the advice I seem to push on others "Don't settle", "Trust your instincts", "Self respect" and "Persevere!"

Maybe the next time I write you I'll be asking for someone else.

... BTW, I still want a damn Wii!

Until then,
#!/usr/bin/me

hauku Friday, the: "S____ dont you blog here anymore addition?"

2009-02-20T13:53:00.001-05:00

zero day exploit
for adobe reader nine
turn off java script

there's a work around
open readers preferences
disable java

meeting request sent
everyone responded yes
find something to say ...

We (ok I) would like to take a moment to thank Adobe Systems for delaying haiku Friday ... Thanks Adobe, you can suck it twice.

haiku Friday: the paraskavedekatriaphobia edition.

2009-02-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

its haiku Friday
really don't wana' show up,
where else would I go.

winged cherub flies,
draws arrows from a quiver ,
kick flying baby.

it’s Jason Voorhees
che che che che ha ha ha
he’s right behind you.

anti-valentine
has more credibility
than clouded judgment.

the problem with them,
and all ‘those kind’ of people ,
never think it through.

I shoot from the hip,
with the matters of the heart,
best decisions made.

commanding winds bite,
tears the weathered bark from me,
peace is simmering.

cupid can suck it,
his smug little reaction,
stop trolling my life.

haiku Friday, "Its time to grasp a furlough by the balls edition…"

2009-01-30T10:55:00.001-05:00

it’s a chili night,
splattered sour cream on you,
ha ha you’re a mess!

on a conference call,
some millionaires spout about,
words, weapons, pain … me

outside my window,
an empty building undone,
icicle melts slowly.

see, financial fear,
is nothing to scoff at bub,
bad times are here, now.

you fight to progress,
climb that big corporate ladder,
don’t measure the fall.

i fear my success,
miserable resentment,
a tear down my cheek.

it’s a waste of time
so, why am I doin’ this?
sure beats hittin’ walls.

Haiku friday: The silly but on time edition.

2009-01-23T13:49:00.003-05:00

shivering excuse,
going green means saving cash,
my office is cold.

brown spots on the wall,
by who flung poo, ha ha ha!
gets me every time.

look over yonder,
owie! I tripped over you,
man, you're really short.

I'd like a tall Chai
not a venti or grande
tall mother fucker, a tall

slow ambient light,
softly plays over your face,
pulled tight slow dancing

I went to a random haiku generator and this is what it gave me ....

revelations swoon
humbly, souls emerge, tall
giraffe stinking heads

ha, it said giraffe, I think I'll keep it.

Folks, the whole point of this exercise is to get some participation ...

Now, It's your turn,

Fat Fuck Versus Himself Part III: plateaus, steppes and buttes

2009-01-23T09:47:00.004-05:00

Sitting at my desk having a Snickers bar for breakfast while guzzling down what will be the first of a ‘minimum 3 Venti Friday’ I recall the “Fat Fuck Verses Himself Series” of posts seen here and here.

Last year I lost 40lbs, I’d like to think it was because of going to the gym, eating right and livin’ health-a-ly. I’ll tell you a secret, it’s because I woke up every day wanting to drink Drano and didn’t eat. Stress will play neat tricks with your body.

Cigarettes and coffee is not necessarily a food group or the diet of champions. It’s the diet of the emo 15 year old kid who hates life cause things are, like, ‘sooo bad’ (I mean, like oh my God, I can’t believe the car they gave me was not new … the world is black. I am darkness, ok, no need to continue, you know where I’m going with this).

I was out last night and had the first burger I had had in a while. Not like a “McE-Deez Double cheeze brah’” kinda’ burger I had a real “go out and order some real effing grilled medium rare, gimmie some fucking meat” kinda’ burger. And yes Virginia, fries were involved.

Hank woulda’ been proud.

Not that I would ever diss the lovingly good goodness of my beloved Trader Joes has to offer. Peanut Satay, easy to cook frozen goodness and Wasabi WoW will be staples of the diet till I grow bored with them.

Ok, We’re (I’m) getting off topic, plateaus, steppes and buttes

Chubby Mc Chubberson, (that’s me) went from 265 to 220 from like April to October last year, nice work. I’ve been sittin’ on 220 for like close to four months now. Now, that can be a good thing, I lost the weight and did not put it back on; however, a little progress might be nice here and there. In conjunction with National Furlough Fun Week I will also be kicking off The National Fat Fuck Versus Themselves Part Deauq Campaign.

Based off of the original Fat Fuck Verses Himself Campaign the NFFVTPDC will be more of a micro campaign. The mission of the NFFVTPDC to get below the 200 mark in 3 months with the eventual goal of not being concerned about how big my tits look when I take my shirt off. The original campaign was more like Rocky Balboa, to get raw punching power i.e. ditch the spare tire.

Basically If I don’t jump off this plateau and get to steppein’ I’m gonna’ be stuck with this butte, and this kid ain’t havin’ it.

until then

#!/usr/bin/me

My crotch hurts, but, I'm ok with it (or Fear, you suck)!

2009-01-20T22:53:00.009-05:00

This evening I went skating for the first time in 24 years.

Prompted by a conversation I had with a friend Saturday evening that went something like "So, _____, do you still want to skate?" which my brain processed as "Are you gonna shut the fuck up and skate verses talking." Pinky swears were then made for me to go skating for the first time during my nearing vacation (furlough); but, I decided to 'say eff it' and go today.

This afternoon I was going through the motions, thinking out the possible scenarios for the evening..

I'll go, strap on skates, stand up and fall on my face.
I'll go, stand up, I wont fall down, I'll make it to the floor, skate 5 feet then fall and smash my face losing a tooth or 3.
I'll go, stand up, fall directly on my ass, crawl out to the floor, stand up, skate 5 feet and in pure Chevy Chase style slip and fall, feet out from under me and right when my feet reach head level I'll drop like a paper weight and crack my skull.

Why was I doing this again?

It did not matter why at that point, I had to break out of the comfort zone. I Was Letting Fear Eff With Me.

I did not always let fear eff with me. When I was 8 I remember finding an old pair of skates in the basement. If I recall correctly, I was digging through stuff that wasn't mine and came across a pair of blue running shoes with yellow laces with heavy clunky metal and 4 wheels attached. I remember once it was spring time getting outside and skating outside of the house and wearing the shit out of them. I don't remember a lot; but, I do remember it was fun.

Moving forward, 24 years forward, I was entering the local skate center and renting skates that I think were also 24 years old with heavy clunky metal and 4 wheels (each). Though facing [thinking] possible sprain or dismemberment I was going to find out if I can at least stand on these darned things.

I came, rented, laced and skated. I did not break any bones, chip any teeth nor perform any Chevy Chase like falls. I even risked the shiny apple product [iPhone] to take a picture. I was not what one would describe as graceful; however, I'm ok with that.

In the few hours I spent there I had a great time. Only fell on my ass once. Being alone sucked but I made an acquaintance or two, chatted for a moment and off I went. I did make a few mental notes watching the other folks at the rink: "how do I stop?", "holy shit don't fall on that kid!", "that man that just lapped me is easily twice my age!?" "I must to do this again!!", "I wonder how much will my crotch hurt tomorrow??", "my feet hurt!!" and "where can I get my own skates!?!?"

I was so apprehensive about trying something because of a fear of simple failure. I really allowed the apprehension to bug me. Once I got out there I had fun.

I'll think I need to expand on this whole fear thing?

Maybe I don't need a bathroom this month, maybe I want skates.

#!/usr/bin/me

Bacon Cupcakes and pre-middle age freakin'-nomics

2009-01-18T02:27:00.015-05:00

Good golly. I was sitting today, excited, waiting to watch the first of hopefully many derby bouts for me this year and a cupcake went walking past me. No, this was not a euphemism for an attractive female. If that were the case I'd have just say 'tasty morsel' or something just unoffensive enough... This was a real cup cake with a twist, it was a bacon cupcake.

I'll admit at first glance I was taken aback so I inquired, "Excuse me miss is that bacon ... on a cupcake." My God, it was Bacon on a cupcake. Must. Be. Strong. Must. Not. Eat.

I admitted all defeat the moment I met you. You were like a small celebration in my mouth. I love you bacon cupcake and I'm not afraid to openly admit it here for the world to read.

Here is a link for some variants.

Moving forward, though 30 is the new 20, I have entered what I'll lovingly refer to as pre-middle age. Its that funny spot where I can still be a little irresponsible, but, I sure as s*it can't take steps backward. I can't regress.

Here is where the freakin'-nomics come into play. I am proud to work for a media company. Its the same large media company that told all of its employees that they must take a one week furlough during the first quarter of this year. For those of you who don't understand it means that I'll be taking a forced one week off with no pay. February I loose 25% of my income. I am not pleased (I know I am not alone).

I am irresponsible enough to want to try to make a bacon hot chocolate tomorrow.

I am responsible enough to take a very hard look at my current situation and do what I need to do to ensure I make it to post-middle age as sound as possible.

I ask everyone to take part in National Buy a Newspaper Day! It will help myself and many others like me. I am proud to work with some of the brightest and talented people I have ever encountered. Learning to ask for help has never been easy, but, I'm not that proud.

During my furlough I'll be able to finish the bathroom in my bedroom and make as many unexpectedly yummy bacon variants as possible.

Did you know there is a bacon salt! Sorry. I'm getting off topic.
Until then,
#!/usr/bin/me

Haiku Friday, the "well over due" edition.

2009-01-16T01:21:00.000-05:00

up too late to sleep,
wired sitting in my bed,
gonna over sleep.

winter kissed my cheek
reminded me to cuddle,
told me to stay warm.

your seat is open,
come sit with me for a bit,
care to share some me?

frosted window sill,
wicked winter winks at me,
wonderin' 'bout you...

God, its me Vader, why is my father targeted by the bad grammer Nigerians?

2009-01-05T22:55:00.002-05:00

Today, I came home to a message from Kelly, a 29 year old from the Tampa region of Florida... the following is her message ....

Hello
i am kelly williams from Florida tampa 29yr's old but right now in nigeria for peace keeping we are on a 4 months asignment but if i could see a man that is ready to make me happy and promise to take good care of me i dont care coming to him right away i am serious here ok.
i am single and looking young lady from a good and well trained home. so i am looking for a cool loving and caring man though i am new on here and i am also new on the internet so i need a real love a platonic one thank you very much for reading love you. You can Contact me on
kelly_lady4u002@yahoo.com Thanks will be online waiting for you.
kelly

Her picture is cute if you want to see her profile, and its still up, she can be found here.

I have a funny feeling about this, but, if she really loves me. I don't know guys, I may be giving everything up and moving to Nigeria.

The following is my reply....

Hi Kelly,

When going to Nigeria did you forget to bring your grammar and punctuation. If you send me an address I can send you some at your cost.

You may be able to help me. My real name is Prince "Six Pounds Soft' ______, I need to move some money out of the country. My father, the king of America, died in a recent battle with the local Canadian tribe. If you start a bank account in Nigeria for me with $5000.00 USD and give me full access to it I will gladly send $4.2 Million in Niara (NGN) of which you may have $1.2 Million USD , think of what yo can do for the children and local warlords.

I feel blessed and full of great that you have found me, I not am totally in platonic love with you too. We can not have a real future together. My loins look good and come from a clean and well trained home too.

I am beginning to pack my things now. Do you know what a venereal disease is, if not its ok, many books lie about it; as does the internets. I will protect you from the gonorrhea monster and help you clean the water for the childrens.

Missing you sometimes all the time not really ever,

Prince "Six Pounds Soft" _____.

... Lets see if I get a reply.

The moral of the story, if it is initially represented as one thing and obviously not that thing, why effing bother. I can only hope that I've wasted my 419 friends time just a little bit. Or anyone else that may misrepresent themselves. LAME.

But I Thought You Said It Could Suck It Twice...

2009-01-01T15:15:00.004-05:00

I sat for a few hours going through the motions of outlining 2008 focusing on the bad parts using the best alliteration to truly flesh out the really ugly parts.

Fuck that.

2008 was a bad year for a lot of people, homeowners, auto workers, republicans, those serving abroad … I could make the list grow exponentially; however, I’ll assume if you know me, you know the places I’d been. You could say I dropped a large mirror.

The worst parts of 2008 jut out like the small sharp shards of a broken mirror. Those pieces that are the hardest to clean, the pieces that cut the deepest beneath your skin and are the pieces you can never see yourself in. Let’s not lament.

Reflecting back, the best parts of 2008 stick out like the pristine pieces of that broken mirror. Those pieces that are the easiest to clean, that can be rejuvenated and though maybe through a different angle you can once again see yourself.

My oldest brother, 19 years my senior, has somehow become more of a father figure as our relationship develops. He and I spent a lot of time together, one where he was a complete mentor in many different ways.

I had the opportunity to watch one of my best friends have their first child. It’s amazing to watch them together. This is a man with one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen, and it only grows larger.

I’ve had the opportunity to watch friendships from a decade ago reconnect.

I’ve had the opportunity to begin new friendships, ones that I hope to last decades.

I watched my Nieces and Nephews grow a little older and even have their own households grow.

I got ‘the job’ in ‘the group’ that I had always wanted; and, was blessed with very understanding superiors.

I discovered a new favorite sport.

Somehow I developed the habit of airing my garbage online; but, so did others with like problems. We helped each other without ever meeting in person. Pretty neat!
I watched someone make the right choice.

I’m not necessarily grateful for dropping a mirror; but, I’m so grateful to have been able to clean it up, pickup up the pieces and re-use what I can.

I don’t think I’m ready to replace it either; it’s becoming more and more fun looking through the different angles.

#!/usr/bin/me

I'm Tired of These Mother Fuckin Snakes on the God Damn Internets!

2008-12-16T10:49:00.003-05:00

Hi Kids. Its … that guy; during the holiday season there is much more malicious activity on the 'internets'. I've seen too many e-mails from friends warning about the coming Internet Armageddon. It gets tiring hearing the same mantra year after year 'There is a virus coming and we're all gonna die ...'

Fact: There are people in this world that are really good with computers and really shitty with ethics. They could be disgruntled city workers, bored kids or very real very dangerous crime syndicates.

Fact: You will never be 100% protected if you are connected to the internet.

Fact: Many folks do not follow simple guidelines to successfully protect themselves. Its not because they do not care, they have just never been educated.

Moving forward ...

Currently there is a '0-day' exploit for Internet Explorer that was made known last week and is actively being exploited. There is no patch for it, last week’s cumulative patch for Internet explorer doesn't cover this exploit.

There is also an XXS vulnerability for Facebook that is making the rounds. If you’re not familiar with XXS, that’s ok, Google will hook you up.

There are vulnerabilities all over the place, I could keep listing them but its pointless, the list would be antiquated before I wrote it.

Lets take a look at some simple guidelines, even I can follow these.

Don't click on stuff that you don't know, don't trust that the message you receive is really from your 'friend' especially if it seems completely out of character.

The easiest way to alleviate these little baddies are pretty simple...

•Run windows update all the time, it may seem like a pain in the ass; but, when was the last time you had to recover from a backup … what’s that you say … you don’t do backups. Well I hope you didn’t put your music/ wedding pictures/ important documents/ shit that’s important to you on your hard drive.

•Run Anti-virus and get in the habit of making sure that its actually updating. If you don’t know to do this empower yourself and learn how – if you don’t know you ‘betta ax somebody’

•Turn on the Windows firewall, leave it on, you dint need XYZ-vendors super anti-hacker-firewall-malicious-code-killer- thingy, windows has one, and it works.

•Be mindful of what your surfing to - Remember nothing comes for free. Nothing.

•Download and use an alternate browser like firefox - take advantage of add ones like "no script"

•Download adaware – and update it – and use it.

•Download spybot search and destroy – and update it – and use it.

More extreme steps,
•Buy a Mac (and I don't care what they say put some effing Anti-Virus software on it). Enable the firewall on it. – Don’t get a false sense of security or superiority; just know you’re better off.

•Consider running and alternate Operating system like Linux or Desktop BSD, run antivirus on it. – Again, don’t get a false sense of security or superiority; just know you’re better off.

Don't make your regular user account a local administrator. 95% of the things you do on your computer do not require you to be a local admin. 95%* Of the vulnerabilities you would come across require the account you're logged in as to be a local administrator to work.

More to come …

#!/usr/bin/me

*total guesstimate.

Christmass List

2008-12-10T22:56:00.002-05:00

Dear Santa,

Its been a few years since I have written you; however, I feel the time has come to request your audience, be selfish and request stuff.

You will notice upon visiting the house this year that there will be a lack of a tree, please do not be alarmed, I was more concerned with getting the bathroom downstairs finished. Feel free to 'break it in' in lieu of cookies and milk. You can't do anything worse than anyone else (MS) has done in a bathroom here - he he.

My Christmass List,
- by 'Me'

1) I would like a nice girl between the ages of 24 and 37 she would...
be able to program perl or python in her sleep
be well read
paint or write (is it too much to ask for both?)
wear really cool glasses (or not)
train in Krav Maga or an alike particularly obtuse and very brutal martial art
get her nails done
look great in make up, but not feel the need wear it (for anyone but herself)
be a raven haired brunette or deep auburn redhead
have piercing blue or deep brown eyes
have at minimum a couple tattoos; however, none that suck
be secretive 'just enough' to keep me guessing; however, have no fear of communication
not do drugs and think that drugs basically suck ass
not play games, unless, like in a fortune cookie, they be, 'in bed'
be sensitive enough to cry and stable enough to not cry at everything
believe in monogamy and even practice it
have an IQ greater than 125
believe in me when I can't
be responsible for her actions both bad and good
be a cat lover
have a license and not be afraid to use it
be a great cuddler
like getting up early every once in a while on a Saturday
love sleeping in late on a Sunday ;)
accept that my ridiculous use of punctuation be a necessary evil for the flow of my writing style; but, still call me on my abuse of anything an English teacher has ever instructed ... meh
avidly recycle and even be a closet tree hugger
be taller than the average bear
have an opinion and not be afraid to use it!
be a strong woman
fight for what she believes in
have flaws and defects.

Santa if you can't find all of that stuff, its ok, maybe she can just love me for me and accept me as I am, but, she does have to love my cats too.

2) I would also like a Wii with a Wii fit and a game or 2.

Thanks Santa, you kick total North Pole Ass!

#!/usr/bin/me

Haiku Friday Thursday, the thanksgiving edition.

2008-11-27T19:25:00.003-05:00

stomach distended,
time spent with great hearts, great minds,
brew up some coffee.

Damn, Book meme messing with my haiku

2008-11-14T10:48:00.004-05:00

Book Meme ... (thanks Leah, I think)

1) Grab the nearest book.
2) Open it to page 56.
3) Find the fifth sentence.
4) Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5) Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

Okey dokey, here we go...

Grabbing the closest book ….
Opens to page 56 …
Reads the longest run-on sentence in the world …
Combined with screen shots this is bad …
There is no fifth sentence.
I’ll read till I hit one …

Ok, here we go ..

“Proceeding through this page starts the pre-requisite checker in the background and the results page appears (see Figure 2-7).”
-Essential Microsoft Operations Manager, Chris Fox, O’Reilly, 2006

haiku Friday - "The getting back on track edition"

2008-11-14T10:44:00.000-05:00

a rainy friday,
sitting in a dark office,
enjoying a call.

we are saving costs,
improving security,
infosec rock stars.

belive my bs,
approved capital spending,
ready for next year.

My "My name is ______" list.

2008-11-07T13:48:00.002-05:00

So a few months ago I wrote a list of things I wanted to do this summer and update in the fall. Using my own totally awesome biological calendar I’ve decided its fall, and now time to clean up or add to the list.

Some items have been struck out, some items have been deleted, some items are new and some are –EPIC FAIL

Okey-dokey, lets rock

~~1) Fill the wagon with people and see the Charm City Roller Girls.~~
3) Get the dumb ass separation thingy all legal like.
4) Fix all 4 bathrooms, (well fix 2 and build one, thankfully one works)
~~5) Stand in the rain and kiss someone (not a dude)~~ (sort-a)
~~6) Spend a whole day with the cats~~
~~8) Finish Q3 PCI a month early~~ – EPIC FAIL
9) skate
~~10) look for a new flatland bike/ start to build a new flatland bike~~ –EPIC FAIL
~~11) Write again~~
~~12) Put a down payment on a real Les Paul~~ -EPIC FAIL
13) Begin to design my right arm 1/2 sleeve
~~14) add 10 things that don't suck to this list.~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~15) loose 40 lbs health-a-ly~~ --Close Enough!
~~16) host a cook out~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~17) host a movie night~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~18) drive by hugging with no time for an explanation (note to self, make sure you know this person)~~
~~19) go a day with no coffee~~
~~20) Blog once a week~~ - Gigantic EPIC FAIL
~~21) go a whole day at work without 'surfing the web' extemporaneously~~
~~22) avoid the friend zone~~
~~23) drive to the beach Friday night for a soft ice cream Saturday morning~~
~~24) remember birthdays~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~25) do something nice for all my nieces and nephews~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~26) take Dave for matching tattoos~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~27) Work on forgiving 'the one I do not refer to.'~~

UPDATE October 1st 2008,

~~28) A fall foliage run.~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~29) A maize maze~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~30) fells Point Ghost Tour~~ - EPIC FAIL
~~31) Accept my poor spelling as an ice breaker~~
~~32) Hug an almost-stranger warmly upon first encounter" ;)~~

Update November 7th 2008 - what are we left with? - what have we added?

33) Stop taking myself so seriously
34)~~Read~~ finish one book by the end of the year.
35) Volunteer somewhere
3) Get the the hose in my name or prepare to walk away.
4) Fix all 4 bathrooms, (well fix 2 and build one, thankfully one works)
9) skate
13) Begin to design my right arm 1/2 sleeve
14) Stop making so many incomplete-able lists
36) go back to number one, review, repeat

haiku friday - the 2 weeks late edition.

2008-11-07T09:18:00.000-05:00

my kitty wakes me,
feet all a pitter patter,
she must be hungry.

dancing silicon,
wavelengths down the dark fiber,
delivered, baby!

another friday,
construction obstructs my view,
can't wait to drive home

please apply the patch,
the exploits are everywhere,
must protect this heart.

she is an exploit
executing her payload
breaking through my wall.

Haiku Friday Tuesday, the election edition.

2008-11-04T13:43:00.001-05:00

its election day,
the energy of the youth
'n old folks wisdom

peacefully driving,
with the gorgeous fall colors,
they dance in my view.

it is time for change,
the elephant is asleep,
today’s for the ass.

Haiku Friday the October 17th edition ...

2008-10-17T09:19:00.003-04:00

now i've drawn a blank,
too much to decipher,
rolling stones up there.

remember Lumburgh,
its Hawaiian shirt Friday,
don't forget the jeans.

its mid October,
should be feelin' thirty two,
feelin like eighty.

there's a satellite,
right outside my window,
it stands in my view.

it was on Wednesday,
i can remember it now,
i saw fear in you.

i burn the candle,
burning so bright at both ends,
i will miss the point.

Tee See Pee I Pee,
it's a language i can read,
encapsulated.

when i reach too deep
i miss the whole reasoning
oh, crap, there it was.

cool ranch and carrots,
taste like Gulf War Hershey bars,
twas a bad idea.

see, the names were changed,
to protect the innocent,
all except for him.

The Last Straw or Why I'm changing political parties.

2008-10-12T11:04:00.003-04:00

Quickly, or, I'll take myself into a place where I don't make any sense.

I knew I was changing registered parties.

I used to joke that "If your down with the GOP than you're in less databases", but, now the more and more exposure I have to 'maverick number 2' it makes me want to puke.

This, is so cruel.

We weren't here first and I believe in symbiotic relationships...

a weelky installment of haiku Friday

2008-10-10T08:45:00.004-04:00

everyone is sick,
some are sicker than others,
care to sit and join?

im stuck in my head,
get lost in adrenaline,
just run baby run.

white canvas sits blank,
blurry image in my head,
stop fuckin with me.

waves crash in my head,
take me to a peaceful place,
oceanic womb.

fear is no ally,
he is a strange bedfellow,
on the road to bliss.

balance dissipates,
when a life is simplified,
cut away wreckage.

Chantix and things that make me go snip

2008-10-07T16:21:00.003-04:00

Hi Kids,

So, if you know me you know that I've been trying to quit smoking on and off now for a while. The patch didn't do it, good old fashioned will power was not the greatest, so, lets go the meds route. I set up a visit with my Dr. and off down to Chantix town I went.

Saturday was day one, I had a pretty good time, went to a wedding, did the ghost walk-y thing, whatevs'. Sunday, day 2, I had a case of the ass a good part of the day worrying about finances, and feeling this impending meh. I chalked it up to a few bad hours and my brother being late, I worked until 10:45 that night. Monday I had a pretty good day at work, not as productive as I'd like, but, ok none the less. Monday night I was out of it and I could not 'snap back out'. No Bueno. There was no reason for it, it was a great night. Today I woke up with the most random feeling of impending doom, best described at the time as melancholy. I quickly wrote it of as 'being in my head' as the day went on I sat at my desk getting more anxious and down. I bit off poor John's head when he asked if I was ok and am at the point where I'm actually documenting this. For no explainable reason I am almost in tears. WTF. If you know me you know I'm pretty even keeled. Matter of fact for a good while life has been amazing, things have only been getting better and better.

If you know me you'll also know that if I want to remember a feeling or an idea, if its important enough I'll even do it permanently (and painfully on my rib cage).

Which explains this little slice of time.

Chantix you have 2 more days and if this crap continues both you and Marlboro gets the middle finger and I'm white knuckling this shit.

I do recall when I tried wellbutrin to quit smoking.and it made me a bastard in lightning speed. I wonder if this is like then.

#!/me

Friday Haiku 10.03.2008

2008-10-03T14:44:00.001-04:00

An ode to a friend getting off early...

week of stress is gone
now is the time for happy hour
mojito, iced cold

bustling b-more
trades suits for bare foot flip flops
the weekend is here

cuddled sleeping in
shares early morning coffee
lets go to breakfast

Actor Claims Self Defense in Killing Girlfriend's Cat

2008-09-19T11:13:00.000-04:00

I just want 5 min in a room alone with this tool box.

What an eff-tard.

me.

Charmed by the Roller Girls.

2008-07-28T10:30:00.011-04:00

If we go back to May 30th I made a list of things to do this summer and number one on the list was to "Fill the waggon with people and see the Charm City Roller Girls." I spelled wagon wrong. Dammit.

Thursday I traded some e-mails with Minnie Piledriver and Frenzy Lohan after reading on the CCRGs' website that they were interested in volunteers. I'm becoming a sucker for breaking out of my comfort zone or trying new things. If I'm gonna' do it I may as well go ALL.

Arriving (a little late) to Du Burns Arena I was greeted by a super rad Minnie Piledriver. Entering the arena the first thing I noticed was a soccer field, you can't skate on AstroTurf (at least not fast). About 30 folks, a mix of people, mostly players and some volunteers, began covering most the field in particle board. By the time the wood was out I decided that a trip to the gym that day would not be necessary, it was a bit of a workout. Du Burns Arena had air conditioning; but, I still had no problem sweating through a shirt. A quick walk to Safeway for a water break and by the time I got back to the arena the playing surface was almost finished. A little more 'odd and end' work and it was time to change so I didn't look, or feel, like a ball of sweat.

There were a few easy observations to make to this point. The CCRG have the DIY thing down pat. During set up there were no agendas, project plans or attitude. We just "did the damn thing", I even feel comfortable saying "we" since I felt a feeling of inclusion, or acceptance, after just walking in the door. Also, its easy to be a slight smitten; no, not that kind of smitten, the kind where you try something new and just know it won't be the only time. Like discovering something you wish you had earlier. This was my impression during just the set up. Everyone was incredibly kind and had amazing personalities, by nature I'm shy and I was comfy. The volunteers were also fed by one of the amazing sponsors, Chipotle. Thanks Chipotle, your guac rocks!

When the bouts began I was 'bouncing' the VIP area. When I first heard that I was bouncing I kind of thought to my self "...but I'm a lover not a fighter..." Bouncing was basically ensuring that the VIP guests were able to retain their seats and the isles were clear, it was defiantly a family friendly environment, it was easy.

If you have never been to a roller derby, there is a learning curve for the rules; however, the concept is understandable. I'm not going to waste the keystrokes when its better said here.

The bouts ran with with the Mobtown Mobs taking the win over the Junkyard Dolls including a great performance from the Mobs newest member 'Thumper Good'. The Night Terrors won over Speed Regime but the come back effort in the end by 'Bambi's Revenge' gets an honorable mention. IMHO, she was crushin' it.

All of the Skaters put out an amazing effort, at the time if this writing I wish I could remember more names. I do remember Just Carole doling out some 'just ass-kickery' too.

The matches were physical, entertaining and fun was had by all. This was of course with out no incident as Junkyard Doll 'Coach Ballbricker' took a nasty fall on a previously injured knee. I was only 20 or so feet away when she fell, the look of pain on her face was testament to a floor made of particle board and hard plastic. There is no question that the pain here is real, there is no WWE B.S. happening here. Helmets and pads are not an option. In my own opinion I'd classify roller derby as an action sport, there is an entertainment value; however, the athleticism is very real and when its happening its intense and calculated. The effort put out by the skaters was great, imagine doing "2 Minute sprints on skates" while your getting the crap knocked out of you at a high rate of speed. There is also the decision making process for what moves need to be made to put one where they need to be 3 moves ahead of time; but, there better be a plans B, C and D 'cause things never work as planned. Again, just a novices take, my first impression.

In the end of the evening the course was broken down, the chairs stacked, and friends were made.

I enjoyed my self so much I'll be back. It got me pumped enough that I'm talkin' about it. If you've read this far than get off your ass, grab some friends and go. ... Check the CCRG homepage for a schedule and details.

Until then,
!/usr/bin/me

God, its Me, I want my lungs back. (Fat F**k Versus Himself pt 2).

2008-07-07T23:25:00.001-04:00

I went to the gym for the 3rd time in the last week, also the 3rd time in 2008 ... wow. Thanks to my little mean friend, I mean, nice fit friend. I had a 3+ hr. gym visit yesterday that was full of totally awesome. I sh*t you not, I threw up toward the end ... f**king awesome!

When leaving the gym we were discussing healthy living. Leaving the gym, discussing healthy living, the first damned thing I reach for is a cigarette.

Famous last words begin with "I need to quit .."; when in ass crack VA last week I had picked up a carton and decided that that might maybe have the possibility to be the last time I buy smokes.

Lets pause for a moment and do some dumb equations ... (my salary in Q3 2008) = (my salary in Q1, 2008) * (.50) = Ouch. New equation ('a pack an a half a day') = $9.45 or ('pack an a half' a day over a year) = $3450.53. F**k Dude. If you asked me how much I smoked the answer really is "Ehhh, about 3500 bucks a year; not the usual a "Ehhh a pack an a half a day". That is a nice car payment or a nice gym membership and a few massages or even the Verizon and BG&E bill.

Last night I smoked what should be my last cigarette.

I will need help.

I will need people to keep on me.

At this point in my life its plain stupid to pay for something that is draining my money and will painfully kill me with no questions asked.

If anyone wants to they can quit with me and we can support each other.

5lbs down, 30 to go.

Fat F**k Versus Himself pt 1.

2008-06-15T23:20:00.000-04:00

The 'Divorce Diet' a.k.a. the 'Frozen and Freeze Dried Diet' is an amazing diet ... for a few weeks. In March/April I lost like 15 lbs, my pants required a belt, I felt waif-ish (I don't use mirrors, its an advantage from having no hair).

I swung by globo gym hoping they would tell me that I was no longer a member much to my dismay I was still a member in good standing, SHIT!

The goal is to begin with loosing 30lbs, I'd like to do 50, but, lets start with 30 and see where it goes. I'm giving myself till my late October, that way If I do develop an eating disorder it wont be too extreme.

The large problem with all this is that I really don't have any accountability to myself for this. I'm looking for words of discouragement. For example, When seeing me @ Starbucks be sure to say something like "Hey Fat Fuck, was that enough sugar and half and half?" If seeing me at the grocery store try something like "Jesus 'tons of fun' that fruit sure looks like ice cream. Let me replace it with something not frozen." If walking behind me the occasional "Boom -ba -ba" in tune with my little pork pied steps.

To ensure I inflict the most damage points on my psyche I have also subscribed to many popular mens magazines so I too can try to achieve airbrushed abs and perfect skin. Yeah, right.

I'm going to take half assed look this afternoon and what the latest 'post-apocalyptic macrobiotic Hollywood' diet is, decide that that the food shopping involved would be too much.

Later I'll resent myself for not buying kettle bells while shoe shopping so I too can look like Jason Statham.

Fact: I am 251 lbs. on June 15th. I am 60 lbs heavier than I was when returning from basic.

Theory: I wont be getting 'smoked' multiple times per day; but, my goal is only 1/2 way there. With a little motivation and a lot of work I can get rid of the weight and STFU about how 'fat I am'.

Execution: Shit are you kidding me ... Why do you think I'm putting this out on the interwebs, I need some motivation.

Motivation:

#!/usr/bin/me

God, its me Yoda. Why do I pee on my Father’s laundry?

2008-06-02T23:17:00.001-04:00

I was thinking about forgiveness and acceptance. Why if the cats, probably Yoda, can pee on my laundry I am quick to chide; yet, just as quick to forgive. Unconditional love is such a unique gift. I wish it could be applied to more things in my life. I can loose my shit in bad traffic, obviously I can't accept everything.

I have unconditional love for many, honestly I'm rarely in a place where I need to forgive or in place where I question actions. sometimes though I think I'm pretty selfish with my reactions and expectations, not very unconditional at all. I'm not very accepting sometimes.

I was sitting with one of the new roomies and we were waxing poetic on relationships. I'm learning to honestly dislike the intricacies people force on relationships, the lack of acceptance for simple things. People appear to need to impose will as if its a divine right to be selfish.

Without sounding melodramatic (and now i will) I'd love to watch the BS stress people add to their lives devolve. All the pseudo-intellectual bullshit, that I'm often guilty of myself, just disappear. I still can't figure out why I can accept some events as they come and others I've allowed myself to react poorly to.

I appreciate smiles and hugs more than I ever have in my life. Truth be told I'm still on guard, I hold my heart with an iron fist, but, now I am so more apt to open up other parts and meet people on a different level, friendship is a neat thing. I'm excited to add people in my life, I'm just as excited to have the opportunity to rediscover people and enhance existing relationships. The more people I add in my life I just keep 'stealing' a little bit more from them, every borrowed item gets me closer to more acceptance.

I like progress, I'm beginning to really like moving forward. The future is a scary place, but, I wont be there alone. What an epiphany to have so late, thankfully its not too late.

Rebuilding is scary; yet ,sometimes fun.

I also clean the litter box more often, thanks Yoda.

2008-05-30T02:15:00.003-04:00

Summer time always makes me feel nostalgic and inspired. I was watching someone journal tonight and got kind of jealous. Today was an interesting day. I had a huge 'homey do list' and did one of it. That is a theme, huge plans with minimal execution; it must be my consistent desire to do nothing ;). After the superior execution of making space in the pantry I made lobster ravioli, it sure sound sexy i know; but, boiling water and heating sauce is not that hard. I made not one but three visits to Starbucks. Went to the mall with John, going to the mall with John is surprisingly fun. Ran into an unexpected 'friend' in an unexpected place at the mall and got some unexpected good news. I'm not holding my breath, but, I may lean to cook ROCK!

I did not do laundry today, yes, disappointing.

I worked at 6:30AM, also disappointing.

I updated the Mac, not disappointing.

I listened to a father, peer and someone I respect say things i needed to hear.

I decided i need a my name is earl list. My MNIEL as it will now be affectionately be referred to will be a 'living document'. The MNIEL is not a list of amends or appeasement to karma, it will be a list of things i must do. Lets ease into it and start with some events for the summer and sprinkle in a few 'out there requests too'

1) Fill the wagon with people and see the Charm City Roller Girls.
2) Go to the Warped Tour
3) Get the dumb ass separation thingy all legal like.
4) Fix all 4 bathrooms, (well fix 2 and build one, thankfully one works)
5) Stand in the rain and kiss someone (not a dude)
6) Spend a whole day with the cats
7) Keep up the GPA
8) Finish Q3 PCI a month early
9) skate
10) look for a new flatland bike/ start to build a new flatland bike
11) Write again
12) Put a down payment on a real Les Paul
13) Begin to design my right arm 1/2 sleeve
14) add 10 things that don't suck to this list.
15) loose 40 lbs health-a-ly
16) host a cook out
17) host a movie night
18) drive by hugging with no time for an explanation (note to self, make sure you know this person)
19) go a day with no coffee
20) Blog once a week
21) go a whole day at work without 'surfing the web' extemporaneously
22) avoid the friend zone
23) drive to the beach Friday night for a soft ice cream Saturday morning
24) remember birthdays
25) do something nice for all my nieces and nephews
26) take Dave for matching tattoos
27) Work on forgiving 'the one I do not refer to.'

UPDATE October 1st 2008,

28) A fall foliage run.
29) A maize maze
30) fells Point Ghost Tour
31) Accept my poor spelling as an ice breaker

and I quote "32) Hug an almost-stranger warmly upon first encounter" ;)

Moving forward, I think that's enough for now.

#!/usr/bin/me

2008-05-17T20:40:00.000-04:00

Word

Just an update

2008-05-11T23:21:00.000-04:00

Lets take a look at the last few months and whats been going on. We've have had a few melt downs, made some new friends, progressed at work, regressed at work, gone shopping and even got a new tattoo. I've packed, shifted, over-slept, had quite a few sleepless nights, been to the movies, went on the 'Divorce' diet for a bit (ra-men brother ra-men). I guess I'm putting this out there as more of a thanks to whoever reads this.

I know how difficult I've been, thanks.

I now feel blessed, the outpouring by friends both new and old is amazing.

I finally feel like life is moving in a positive direction. Taking the opportunity to have a moment where I can look back and go over everything thats happened is interesting. Sometimes it feels like a few months, other times it only feels like weeks. Every day is different, but, getting better. The shock factor is over, the wool has been pulled form behind my eyes and the cotton from my ears. For whatever reason, I've been given an opportunity to, without fear, call the shots. The life I had laid out in front of me will never happen, I really lamented that, now i can't anymore. I'm back in the saddle, grabbing life by the nuts, doing the laundry, shopping for groceries and even learning to cook;).

A very good friend reminded me that everyone has problems, that they're problems aren't mine and my problems aren't their focus. He couldn't be more right.

Any 'bottom' provides one with the ability to 'get away' with poor behavior, poor reactions and poor decisions. My friends stepped up and provided me with the suggestions, and direction, to keep from making poor decisions; I am truly great full for all of you. You know who you are.

To my new Friends just tuning in, welcome, get ready for the ride. I'm an open canvas now and versus being all worried all the time, I'm ready to have fun. Lets Rock

Now, if someone will nicely remind me how poor my spelling and punctuation is .....

!/usr/bin/me

Lets reacquaint ...

2008-05-11T23:04:00.002-04:00

Good evening all (one person that will read this), I hope this finds you well. If you know me then, since I can't keep my mouth shut about it, you know whats going on. If you're just tuning in lets chat. It's been some time since I caught Cheater McCheaterson with one of her paramours.

Lets take a look at the last few months and whats been going on. We've have had a few melt downs, made some new friends, progressed at work, regressed at work, gone shopping and even got a new tattoo. I've packed, shifted, over-slept, had quite a few sleepless nights, been to the movies, went on the 'Divorce' diet for a bit (ra-men brother ra-men). I guess I'm putting this out there as more of a thanks to whoever reads this.

I know how difficult I've been, thanks.

I now feel blessed, the outpouring by friends both new and old is amazing.

I finally feel like life is moving in a positive direction. Taking the opportunity to have a moment where I can look back and go over everything thats happened is interesting. Sometimes it feels like a few months, other times it only feels like weeks. Every day is different, but, getting better. The shock factor is over, the wool has been pulled form behind my eyes and the cotton from my ears. For whatever reason, I've been given an opportunity to, without fear, call the shots. The life I had laid out in front of me will never happen, I really lamented that, now i can't anymore. I'm back in the saddle, grabbing life by the nuts, doing the laundry, shopping for groceries and even learning to cook;).

A very good friend reminded me that everyone has problems, that they're problems aren't mine and my problems aren't their focus. He couldn't be more right.

Any 'bottom' provides one with the ability to 'get away' with poor behavior, poor reactions and poor decisions. My friends stepped up and provided me with the suggestions, and direction, to keep from making poor decisions; I am truly great full for all of you. You know who you are.

To my new Friends just tuning in, welcome, get ready for the ride. I'm an open canvas now and versus being all worried all the time, I'm ready to have fun. Lets Rock

Now, if someone will nicely remind me how poor my spelling and punctuation is .....

#!/usr/bin/me

2008-04-24T22:24:00.000-04:00

Mi rassa

2008-04-11T13:06:00.000-04:00

Working Fridays just got awsome-er

2008-04-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

My name is Jeffy, and I like asses. I like to eat asses!

2008-04-05T00:33:00.000-04:00

2008-03-30T10:51:00.001-04:00

Seepy bear

Another Post, Jeez

2008-03-19T12:39:00.001-04:00

Intense Tabata Interval Routines For Ultimate Conditioning

This looks awesome!

#!/usr/bin/me

Ramen Noodle Recipes to Turn Cheap Dough into Haute Cuisine

2008-03-19T12:15:00.001-04:00

More of a place holder for me, these recipes look effing good!

Which drunk are you?

2008-03-19T09:33:00.002-04:00

I love the Japanese, I love them so much it makes me shake down to my little pee pee.

Please all all 6 to my holiday gift list, please and thanks!

Ha Ha, I mean dammit

2008-03-18T11:06:00.001-04:00

So, maybe it time to find a new industry.

Shmoocon 2008 Day 3

2008-02-17T12:02:00.001-05:00

More to come once it's over. I've wasted away the AM writing the last 2 posts and eating breakfast. Maybe less to come.

Shmoocon 2008 Day 2

2008-02-17T12:01:00.001-05:00

The next day began with Breakfast, MMM... breakfast. and followed up with Active 802.11 Fingerprinting, a pretty cool way to literally fingerprint an AP and display it graphically.

Afterwards was a presentation on SIP, I couldn't tell you the first thing about SIP, but, I can yell you that it totally made me change the way look at an IP phone as a vector for attack ... if you know how to place the attack. Viva la SIP, technical issues during the demo hampered the talk; but, it was still a great talk.

Next on the agenda was Jay Beale, infosec stud! Jay gave a talk on client side attacks and how effective they were versus server side attacks. He than followed up with using a squid proxy as remediation for finding apps what were susceptible for client side attack. I really liked his talk except for the ass clown behind me who spoke the whole time. You've got to be kidding me, I actually had to pass the guy an effing note asking him to whisper quieter. Of course I had to apologize to him later since I cant bother with keeping resentments longer than an hour. I'm a vagina sometimes. Sorry (not really) Toby. :)

I then went to an extended lunch missing "Why are Databases so Hard to Secure?" Until I was told I didn't 'miss' anything. I'll have to download and decide for myself, since I think people can be a little judgmental if the talk doesn't suit their needs. I take my hat off to anyone that speaks in front of a large group, its go to be STRESS.

I then sat in on "Got Citrix? Hack It!". If one installs a Citrix environment and leaves everything at defaults is susceptible to attack. Thanks...

Moving forward I sat in on Advanced Protocol Fuzzing (Layer 2) by our friends from Germany, this was of course about protocol study and not hacking ;). Very good presentation, and the demos worked, and rocked. Enno and Daniel also played a role getting the network equipment up and running for the con and are all around great guys, I hope to see them again.

Dinner was Mc Donnalds trying to decipher the stenography part of a contest. I did not fair too well. ...

Shmoocon 2008 Day 1

2008-02-17T11:29:00.004-05:00

Day one began watching the network continue to come up and lending a hand where I could. Scanning to confirm that devices are up and reading OIDs' talking to the Aruba controller using MIB browser from iReasoing.

Later I shifted from the NOC to the talks, beginning with H1kari who have a good talk on Intercepting GSM phone traffic. Even you could do it to with a lottery winners budget and a few solid months of focus, not a diss at all, matter of fact it was a great way to start the con, very sexy (not H1kari, the technology).

I then listened to Forensic Image Analysis for Password recovery, IMHO more of an educational talk than an "I did this, heres how I did it now you go forth and conquer", personally I'm a fan of the later.

The next talk was about Web Portals as an attack vector, very good talk that I wish I had remembered more about.

The next talk was one I'd looked forward to since I saw the posted talks, "Hacking the Samurai Spirit" by Isaac Mathis, a researcher who has been studying the Japanese language and culture almost as long as computers and technology. I looked most forward to this talk because it focussed on Layer 9 (culture) and I'm a sucker for learning about anything Japanese. Yes I'm slightly wapanese. The only problem with the talk was some tool asking about the Yakuza suppressing the Japanese cell phone network monitoring, blah blah, I'm a tool blah. I think out of respect for the tool the speaker asked him to repeat the question one or twice and then gave a nice rational answer without calling him a tool.

Then as anyone with anything to guard should watch was Deviant Ollam's presentation countermeasure the bump key attack. Awesome if your on the search for a new lock, scary as crap for me as my locks suck.

I ended up at the Irish place across the street for Dinner, it was lackluster. But in the end a great day.

Shmoocon 2008 day 0 continued.

2008-02-15T09:01:00.005-05:00

As the day went on a flaky piece of hardware kept the network guys working late into the night. I saw something shinny, as this happens when I see shiny things my attentions diverted; I had to eat too.

Later in the evening I decided we had to audit the physical security of the Hotel, arriving at the desk with my roommate we asked for 2 brand new yes, and our friend Brenden (from Sydney) was proud to oblige, only after asking for what street I lived on after he gave me the key. The audit was necessary because like a pair of power tools we locked ourselves out. Note to self: this hotel has some pretty nice flat panels in the rooms now. I'll have to come back and visit Mr. Underwood.

As the evening wore on I had a freakin' awesome cheese steak at this hole in the wall joint I just love to go to. Later, I watched tons of drunk salesmen at the bar. In an almost perverse voyeuristic way I watched the sales folks drink and asshole their way into stupidity. Listening to them as they watched us and hearing their slurred comments was kind of interesting because the same level of disdain was shared. My favorite was then this guy who looked like Jerry Dandrige from Fright Night asked if he could buy us a shot "to make us go away", as he tossed a Ben Franklin on the table, the reply back was something along the lines of 'How about we get you some hair jell for those curls [you fucking tool]'. Written out it's just not funny; but, at the time I almost peed my pants. I don't think he understood that under the Moose Slippers and t-shirts we are professionals :) Cygnus can also burp longer than any human I've ever met, its almost demonic to hear.

Shmoocon 2008

2008-02-14T17:31:00.006-05:00

Day 0 is half over.

I'm totally enjoying Shmoocon labs this year, the team I'm on is super nice and I'm working on things I've not had the opportunity to in the past. We're currently setting up nagios, splunk and cacti.

There are other teams working on the network, IDS, DHCP and DNS and the Jupiner IPS system. Thats not a mistake, the Jupiner IPS is made by the folks over at Juniper who've decided that 1) BSD is dead, 2) CentOS has better licensing (?) and 3) Standard unit sizeing are also overrated, adding a rail kit to a Dell Laptop is much easier than to make a new hardware. I applaud Juniper as a Vendor, I think its good practice to dump hardware off on folks and let em' have at it. Note that the CD-ROM is not supposed to be taped, that was an oops; but, I'll chalk it up to a beta design.

Well, back to the grind. Hopefully I find a 'safe place' to update later.

I feel safer with the power of the Jupiter on my side, "Jupiner, its not a dell laptop once ya' add the rails. ..."

RIP LMG INC T/A JHT

2008-01-25T14:06:00.000-05:00

The end of an era is here for me, another small local business has closed down. For many years LMG Inc. T/A Johns Hopkins Texaco sat just off Rt. 29 and Johns Hopkins Road and served a community for decades. I don't know many more small family owned business that can say the same. JHT, for me, meant so much more than just a service station, it was also a place where many a 'screw up' including myself matured. It was one of the last real full serve service stations, as far as I know it ran without a real cash register until its last few years. I owe that station, especially its owner Joe, more than I could ever give back.

The station move there when I was a young boy. It had originally been off Rt 29 and what is now Shaker Drive, when there it was an Esso Station. My father worked there one Christmas to make sure my brothers and sisters had presents. Later my brother worked there during his high school years and to carry on the family tradition I also worked there through high school and into college.

I recall when I was 16 years old and went to work for Joe, the 'one armed Hungarian Tow Truck Driver'. Joe was called this because he was Hungarian, occasionally drove a tow truck and had lost his right arm shortly after entering this country. It was only a few years later I learned what happened. It was then that I also learned that Joe was by trade, for lack of a better term an Engineer in his native Hungary. Due to language barrier he could not find work in his trade when entering the US, he worked in Pennsylvania in a meat backing factory, one day there was a tragic accident that took one of his arms from below the elbow. It never stopped him, ever. I'm not sure what happened in the years after the accident then but years later Joe showed up in Maryland, running service stations.

Working there was a 16 year olds' dream, learning to work on cars, horsing around with the other employees and unintentionally learning responsibility. At 16 I had the keys to the place, my own alarm code, when on the clock we were the cask register. Of course when you screwed up you heard about it, but, Joe let us learn from our mistakes and character defects as needed, our leashes were just long enough to only be a litle dangerous.

Working there next to JHU APL also made things interesting. I loved it when once in a while an engineer come by and look down his pocket protector at you. It was a small victory when the same engineer would come back later that month with a flat tire and have no idea what do do with it. I also recall when a doctor came by and made the crack, "Hey look at my hands (after doing something under the hood) I looks just like you" and the reply he got "Must be nice". I don't think people will ever understand the technical ability needed to perform basic maintenance on vehicles. Go outside and try to change your break pads or replace your spark plugs, not too easy huh?

I remember being robbed one night, the funniest thing, turning face to face with two pistol wielding robbers and innocently asking "What can I do for you?" One would think that the mask and pistol would have been a hint... I quickly figured out what they had wanted and just as quick handed over he money and simultaneously hit my knees. Not my proudest moment; however, I lived to tell. I leaned that night that fear can be a most dangerous foe. I kid about it now. I can remember that night in brilliant Technicolor.

Working at Joe's taught me how to deal with people, or, at least that I needed to work on dealing with people. By the end of my tenure I learned when appropriate to compliment, when to keep my mouth shut, basically how to deal with the public at large.

I learned simple math on the fly, which sounds pretty elementary, now try to go be a cash register standing outside in this beautiful, windy, January weather.

I learned to appreciate the "Warm Hawaiian Winds". When it was downright freezing outside Joe would always remind me to close my eyes and enjoy those "Warm Hawaiian Winds". I still do to this day.

I learned to keep my mouth shut; sort of. I recall a time when I really insulted one of Joe's family members. It was that moment, or maybe the moments after the verbal lashing and the apology letter that I began to learn about humility.

Even to this day I lean things from my experience working at Joe's. Every time I go to anywhere and get horrible customer service or see a business not living up to service standards I think of Joe. I wonder how long these screw ups would last at the station, if the words "Sir" or "Miss" exist in their vocabulary and what the hell happened to young people.

Work ethic is dead, want proof go buy something.

I learned the meaning of consolidation and corporate re-org at the ripe age of 19. When it was time for the station to upgrade from analog to digital pumps going fully computerized, this removed the need for two 'pump jockeys' per shift. Before the great upgrade of 98 there were always two of us per shift. Due to upgrades they only needed one of us around at any given time. That was a sad time. But, as corporate re-orgs happen I learned the oft re-enforced lesson that "Its nothing personal kid."

I hate to see businesses like Joe's get pushed around by the 'big boys'. A shiny new gas station sits just to the right of the old reliable Texaco. there in its shiny 24-7 glory it provides fuel, the usual assortment of typical modern gas station amenities and typical modern sub-par service. I'm not sure if they contributed to the demise of the Texaco, but, I can sure infer that they did not help.

House cleaning

2008-01-25T13:48:00.001-05:00

So I just deleted the majority of the videos I had posted, not that I really post to this enough, but, why put up stuff that others have already seen.

New Harold and Kumar trailer

2007-12-06T08:24:00.000-05:00

I notice a trend here, I put up a video and don't type any thing. WOW, blogging is easy ...

... I don't have to do shit!

Awfully Funny

2007-11-20T12:57:00.001-05:00

OMG,

This made my day ...

When Fake Fighting Goes Bad - Watch more free videos

... Ninja all the way.

Morning delight

2007-11-16T08:28:00.000-05:00

I got up unnaturally early this morning and was in a really unnaturally great mood. than I saw this.

I love the Japanese, they make me smile.

Wheres Waldo

2007-10-08T09:59:00.000-04:00

Some of you (more like one of you) may wonder where I've been. The answer lies here.

In the land of slack, thats where I've been!

More to come!

#!/usr/bin/your mom :)

2007-08-10T14:29:00.000-04:00

Only because I actually have to go over anything I rite over 3 lines more than a few times.

#!/usr/bin/me

Funnyer than funny

2007-08-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

Who am I voting for in '08.

WORD!

Hells Yeah~

#!/usr/bin/me

Shoutouts and Videos

2007-08-03T17:28:00.000-04:00

The new catchy tune coming from our friends over the pond ...

... brought to me from my homey over HERE.

"An Open Letter to the Frat Boy"

2007-07-29T02:16:00.000-04:00

... Or "Yes I know the bracelet says ENTERING MOSHING AREA IS AT YOUR OWN RISK (you fucktard)"

Today I went to the Family Values tour at Nissan Pavilion in Brisow VA, a fine venue. There I had fun, saw a lot of great bands and earned a good headache; however, I was faced with a serious contemporary issue rearing its ugly head during Flyleaf's set. Some douche bag frat boy , pictured on the right, decided that since he was encircled by 2 other douche bags, myself and a group of 14 year old girls that it would be a great idea to begin to throw punches, and elbows at combat speed in hopes of begining a mosh pit. When his flailing fists and elbows did no work he used another frat boy as a WMD, Weapon of Minimal Destruction, throwing the smaller moron into the others around them, namely 14 year old girls. I was later able to snap his photo during Evanescence's set.

I know what you're thinking; "So, whats the big effing deal? Thats what happens at concerts!", well, yes, that does happen at concerts. Have we considered that this newly accepted behavior has taken what are forefathers created for us and throwing it down the tubes? Yes, we are. Drunken frat boys are not supposed to start mosh pits with 14 year old girls by bowling for them with smaller frat boys.

There is the certain possibility that if you go into the "pit" area of a concert that there will be contact, possibly violent contact; however, the "golden rule" and "no means no" still stand.

After frat boy began to flail around like a dip shit again he knocked into some guy who walked up with a full beer, as he was taking a sip, lame. I'll give frat boy some credit he apologized, his friend made up for the small sign of humanity by trying to start some shit with the guy "Yeah, man, I can fight an' shit." Personally I think he was lying, but, that was neither here nor there.

A suggestion is this, if this posting is ever read by anyone and they recognize frat boy, that they point him the right direction, maybe some basic documentation would help him and his moron friends learn the proper way to mosh.

Personally I feel that the only solution is clear, instead of Bono trying to have concert to help Africa, send frat boy and his crew there to help get rid of his restless energy and build some school houses or a hospital, concerts don't help continents, people with extra energy do.

In closing, hey frat boy, thanks for effing up the 2nd half of Flyleaf's set for me. You're a dick, don't push your moron buddies into 14year old girls.

Until then

#!/usr/bin/me

New cool thing to learn.

2007-07-23T23:34:00.000-04:00

Effing cool ...

How To Throw REGULAR Playing Cards REALLY HARD - Free videos are just a click away

Stephen Murray Family Fund

2007-07-01T10:57:00.000-04:00

Stephen Murray is a BMX Athlete that could use help from the BMX community. Stephen is a professional dirt jumper that is well known for his amazing tricks like double back flips, 360 back flips, turndown back flips and so much more.

Stephen Murray came to the United States from New Castle Great Britain over 10 years ago with a dream of riding with the best athletes in the sport. He came over here originally as a BMX racer but quickly took to Dirt Jumping and Freestyle in the scene of Huntington Beach and Sheep Hills.

2001 and 2002 marked the biggest year for Stephen Murray of his career. He won the Gold Medal in Dirt Jumping at X Games and back to back wins at the Gravity Games, the two biggest contests at the time.

Stephen is quoted on his own riding style, “I go 110%, go big and send it!” (EXPN.com)

On Friday June 22nd at the AST Dew Tour BMX Dirt Finals in Baltimore, MD, Stephen Murray took a horrific fall on the final set of the dirt section while sending a double back flip. Stephen has received career ending injuries to his spinal cord and vertebrae.

Unlike the NFL or other major professional sports which have unions that provide funds to athletes who are injured, BMX has nothing like this. BMX however is much more like a family than any other sport. Now is the time we need to reach out and support one of our family members like never before.

The injuries that Stephen sustained are no doubt going to affect him for a life time. Medical bills alone can reach astronomical dollar amounts. As a BMX community we have the power to help him. Stephen is a young 27 years old and is the financial provider for a wife and two young children.

This message has the potential to reach millions. Even if you are only able to donate $1 if we did it all together we can accomplish a great deal. This is for real, this is an opportunity to help out one of the most loved riders in our sport. Please find it in your hearts to contribute any dollar amount that you can, and say a prayer for Stephen Murray and his family in this difficult time.

You can contribute directly to the Stephen Murray Family Fund through paypal. Just click the link to donate below and you will be directed to the contribution page. Then enter the dollar amount that you would like to contribute.

If you don't have a Paypal account you can still contribute through this link. Just click the button "Don't have a paypal account?" on the lower left side of the page. Then follow the instructions.

You can leave a comment, and find out how Stephen is doing at his Myspace page through the link below.

www.myspace.com/murraystrong

Another way to help Stephen is to add the Stay Strong banner to your Myspace page to spread the word. It will link people directly to this site to make a donation. Just copy and paste the code below into the interests & personality section of your profile.

You can also mail a check made payable to:

Stephen Murray Family Fund
92 Corporate Park Ste. C #171
Irvine, CA 92606

Make a bank deposit or wire funds directly to:

Stephen Murray Family Fund
Bank of America
4500 Barranca Parkway
Irvine, CA 92614
Routing # 121000358
Account # 1015867459

If you have any questions or concerns about the legitimacy of this fund please email your inquiry to stephenmurrayfund@hotmail.com. We are currently working together with a 501(C)3 Non Profit Organization, Stephen's management, Family, and other large companies looking to help Stephen to organize one specific fund which is the Stephen Murray Recovery Fund. All donations are tax deductable. All proceeds go directly to the Stephen Murray Recovery Fund.

If you are a minor get your parents permission first. Donate today, don ’t hesitate.

Sadness.

2007-05-04T20:41:00.000-04:00

Watching the following really disturbed me. I really feel for the kid. I hope she is ok.

good luck.

#!/usr/bin/me

30 days with a Mac Day 3....

2007-05-03T14:43:00.000-04:00

Did I not mention that I'm, going to try and blog 30 days with a Mac .... Oh, well I figure for the investment I may as well have something to show for it. I have an idea, when I have some time later, I'll go back 2 days and discuss the whole buying process. Back to day one...

#!/usr/bin/me

New Toy

2007-05-01T02:03:00.000-04:00

So,

I can't really say toy, I can say BSD based beautiful glory machine that I've been wanting for some time. Let the zealotry I've avoided for years fill my heart with fruity goodness. I bought a MacBook Pro.

Thanks wife, you're the best! (for those that are single you should know, things such as these require permission).

Off to learning a new oss for the seccond time in a month :)

#!/usr/bin/me

A good laugh

2007-04-23T02:20:00.001-04:00

Too funny .....

2007-03-30T21:57:00.000-04:00

Lumbergh Fracked her ...

Shmoocon Linux Virus

2007-03-28T22:43:00.000-04:00

This is terrible. I ended up using my personal laptop for Shmoocon Labs in the NOC to display on the wall (using a projector). I ensured all weekend that I would check my poor little lappy every few hours. Everything appeared fine until I returned home this past, fateful, Sunday. Monday it happened, after reloading my laptop it was abundantly clear. It began as a tingle in my eyes and ran down my throat. Every cough feeling like broken glass. my back aching like Mike Tyson punched me in the kidneys. I caught the "Shmoocon Linux Virus". This piece of malware spawns and regenerated even with the best anti viral treatments. It was said somewhere on the internet that patching with Purell and Hot Tea (not to be confused with GTA Hot Coffee) can keep the virus quarantined from other hosts. Also note that isolation from other hosts is suggested. If you come across a whining wheezing sound in any environment you may be at risk of, or already, infected/infection. The Whining sounds like "I waaaaaaannnnna go hooooome" or "This Suckksssss!" followed by a phlegmy cough.

Shmoocon and Shmoocon Labs were a blast! If I weren't sick as balls I would have posted more.

Expect more soon.

!#/usr/stay/local/inbed/noworky

The Inter-web is amazing.

2007-03-21T20:23:00.000-04:00

So here I find myself, when I should be packing, preparing for the extended weekend, preparing to sleep, etc, I am surfing the damned inter-web.

How often do you find yourself reading up on a subject, finding yourself on Wikipedia and realizing you've died. Thanks the gods of the inter-web. If it weren't for the many scientists and intellectuals that write the inter-web, I would be a mess.

Removing tongue from cheek I am excited that this weekend I will be surrounded by good folks . :)

Time to go pack. I know I'll need to sleep. I'm gonna get up when I'm used to going to bed. I sure as heck hope I printed my bar codes!

until then

#!/usr/bin/me

Finals are over, here comes a test ...

2007-03-20T01:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm beginning to doubt how legit my school is. My C++ final was 10 questions based on quizzes I took all semester ... So, do I complain that I got an A or complain that I really did not earn it. F**k it, i'll do both. At least my UNIX class kept me honest (an A as well)!

I did however have a conversation with a co-worker today who, on a non related note, reminded me that there will always be people smarter than myself. I came back with the whole its not how smart they are is experience that matters. He came back with well there are people with less experience than me that are smarter, to which I agreed. There are people smarter than him ... and I.

BUT, as my BUT is huge, Shmoocon is in a few days. I am excited; yet, a bit apprehensive due to my noobedness. I went the first year and it was fun and I learned a bit, the following year I went and learned a little bit more. This year I go with 365++ days more experience, but, am I smarter? I question it because I stood at the bar not 10 feet from one of the founders/ organizers of the con who made the comment "Half the people here don't know shit ...". I took the statement at face value and moved on. Recently I had been giving what he said a lot of thought. Last year the same person said, in a much larger venue, that the security community is "in trouble", again, I took the comment at face value and moved on. a lot of shit can be thought of over a year. In the last year I returned to college, made numerous massive positive changes in my life and have had the best professional year I have ever had. My technical abilities and, for lack of a better word, teammate abilities have been growing at a rate I am finally proud of.

OK, enough self obsession, back to Not knowing shit and being In trouble. I went back to college because I "did not know shit", I needed to reestablish my "baseline technical knowledge" in a formal environment. I now treat school now like a job, I put in the work, I read the books (unless its c++) I learn the concepts as if I will be tasked with a question in a future job interview, even better I go after this stuff 'cause I care and want to learn. Is that enough? Is the love of learning, with a good "technical baseline" enough to even be a novice in a Computer Security.

I guess the first test will be at Shmoocon Labs. I am a sucker for punishment with my new found "wanting-to-get-involved-ed-ness". I sent in an honest resume, and honest request to be part of Shmoocon Labs, they accepted. I have no idea what to expect, I was 100% honest and they said (more or less) "Ok, fifty more dollars and you're in".

I was pleasantly surprised

Do I know enough to contribute ... maybe, Do I know enough to be a technical team lead ... fuck no ... Do I know enough to not make an ass of myself, have a good time and learn a ton of shit as fast as possible, yes.

maybe I'll even update

until then ...

#!/usr/bin/me

Helo World!

2007-03-19T02:38:00.000-04:00

No seriously ... hello world. So I heard about this inter web place where people can complain about comic books, movies and porn. Maybe even document a thing or two! Sweet.

2007-03-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

Friend-ema' [verb] -going through and deleting people you really do not speak to.

Usage "I really do not have 245 'friends' so I'm going to go on MySpace and get rid of people ya' know like a friend enema or friend-ema."

Every once in a while I look at some of the people I am 'friends' with on myspace and it occurs to me that, maybe I really am not friends with these people.

Per say, what if I add some dude I went to high school with and than he was arrested and successfully prosecuted as a serial murderer or shoplifter. That's why I only add chicks I went to high school with, its much safer.

Heaven forbid "wolf7968" has a few body parts in the freezer and I'm in his top 8 cause we ate lunch together in school. Later I'm interviewed on the 6:00 news and they catch me shirtless speaking a poor version of engrish. The following day a potential employer recognizes my diatribe from the prior evening news later causing me to lose the per said potential "dream job"; in turn, I have what I would refer to as a bad day.

Avoid bad days, have friend-emas often, cleanse your 'space' and stop being a numbers whore.